Question

I was bothered these days. Bothered by the fact that I have yet left the place of the past. I thought I had entered into sanctuary of riddance and serenity. That's where the disappointment comes.

I have to learn the position at the pinnacle will not last forever. Once you step up, be prepared (cautious) to fall under the power of complacency. Yes, I had, very very sadly, let my guard down at the end of everything, only to have everything that I had pasinstakingly built taken away from me. Maybe not like a nasty snatch of ownership and control like how a robber would shock you as he sneaked up and assail you from the back. There wasn't a hard push; there had't even been a struggle, a shout, or a gsap. It was slow and subtle. And very clean. And dirty

I think I was allured by something; something that I do not remember now.

There was a stillness but actually the waters were stirring quickly and silently below the thin veneer of ice that sperated us. There was me walking across to see what's ahead, but I didn't hear a sound that would cautioningly warn the crack under my step. Yes, I had become deaf.

But I can hear the cold wind that brushed across my face. The howling of the wind had silented a soft and gentle voice. It must have had. Because I know that you will be there for me - this will never ever ever change, but I thought you were pretty quiet and still then.

Then it happened too quickly. A quick gasp raised by the startle and down I went, swept away. The opening was gone from sight instantly and this thin sheet of frozen glass became too sturdy and impenetrable. The currents were too strong for me to be able to wield my arms anyway, I was just slipping away with it like a rugged doll. Then suddenly the pain got to me. It was as though the cold was eating my skin; the sucking pressure was all around me. Then only when I opened my mouth for a fresh breath of air did I realised how my death would be like. Not a frozen statue, but suffocation. The salted water plunged into my throat and I felt as though it filled my heavy and shrinking lungs. There was choking. I wonder was there any screamings or whims though. At my last moments, I shut my eyes and a song resurfaced in my mind.

It goes like this, "Amazing Grace... how sweet the sound.. that saved a wretch like me..."

I should have left my home. But I was curious. And then before I realised that I was going to lose everything and my life, it was too late. I was gone.