Adieu

Oh let me rant because i'm in such bad mood now. Long time since i last had this plunging feeling inside. My chest just feels so constricted and my head is air empty.

RAH. I just wanna scream and cry and whine, and make a big fuss about everything.



First up. So what i got good results. I'M STILL NOT HAPPY. I CAN BE. I SHOULD BE IF I FEEL LIKE IT. YEA! SO FCUK IT. AND FCUK OFF.

YES I'M DAMN UNHAPPY THAT I GOT C FOR MY GP COS IT'S JUST SO DAMN LOW CLASS FOR ME. LIKE HELLO? MY ENGLISH STANDARD IS LIKE SO DAMN FAR ABOVE MOST PEOPLE YET BECAUSE OF THAT ONE MOMENT OF SCREW UP I'VE GOT A SCREWED-UP RESULT FOR THE SUBJECT. AND I GOTTA STICK TO THAT FCUKED UP C FOR LIFE. I HATE IT.

YEA LISTEN UP SUCKERS. I GOT As FOR ALL MY OTHER CONTENT BASED SUBJECT. LIKE ALL. AND I'M THE TOP IN MY CLASS. I'M PROBABLY IN THE TOP 30 OR 25 LIST IN MY SCHOOL. I'M FCUKING PRO AND I REALLY CANT BRING MYSELF TO BELIEVE IT YET. YEA. VERY UNBELIEVEABLE SUCH A NOOB LIKE ME CAN GET SUCH A RESULT. BUT WHAT I'M SCRUTINISING AT NOW IS MY GP. AND JUST THAT.

I KNOW I'M PRO WITH MY LANGUAGES AND COULD HAVE DOEN SO MUCH BETTER. I GOT A FOR MY CHINESE, SO WHY CANT I GET IT TOO FOR MY ENGLISH. I WORKED SOP FCUKING HARD FOR IT OKAY. SO MUCH MORE FCUKING HARDER THAN OTHERS. AND GUESS WHAT. I SCREWED ON THAT DAY BECASUE OF SERIOUS MENTAL BLOCK. GREAT. FUCK IT. I ALREADY REALISED THAT I COCK-UPED.

BUT HOW COULD I! I JUST CANT BELIEVE IT. THAT MOMENT I JUST COCKED-UPPPPP. IF I COCK-UPED MY CHEM AND GOT A FOR MY GP I MIGHT HAVE HAD BEEN HAPPIER. COS I REAPED WHAT I SOWED. I PUT SO MUCH HARD WORK FOR GP. NOT THAT I DIDN'T PUT IN HARD WORK FOR CHEM. BUT NOT GP THIS TIME. AND IT WAS LIKE HISTORY REPEATNG ITSELF. I GOT ALL As FOR O LEVEL AND B3 FOR ENGLISH.

WHAT THE FCUK IS WRONG WITH THIS WORLD! AND WHAT THE FCUK IS WRONG WITH ME!

AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!

I JUST DON'T REALLY WANT TO FACE IT. I REFUSE TO. AT LEAST FOR NOW. NOW THAT I'M SO FCUKED UP PISSED AND BAD MOODED. SO JUST FCUK OFF AND FCUK THE WORLD ALRIGHT.


AND JUST FOR YOUR INFO, I'M NOT REALLY BADMOOD-ED BECAUSE OF THIS BUT SOMETHING ELSE TRIGGERED IT. IT'S ALL BECAUSE OF YOU YOU MOTHER FCUKER!


I FELL FOR THE LIES, AGAIN AND AGAIN. LIKE I'M ADDICTED. EACH TIME I ENJOY IT AND THEN I'LL FALL DEEPER AND HARDER. FCUK YOU YOU UNDERSTAND!?


NEVER AGAIN I TELL MYSELF EACH TIME. THIS TIME I'LL DO SO TOO. BUT I DONT KNOW WHEN WILL BE THE NEXT TIME. WHEN WILL THE NEXT TIME COME.



NEVER AGAIN.