I carry a feeling of ambivalence towards going back.
What am i fearful of? I don't understand.
A sense of anticipation of an unknown - but what do i not know?
Or is it a feeling that something bad is coming?
Has it arrived then?
I have always been more of a pessimistic person.
I hate to leave but i have to go. Leaping between two different lifestyles has been hard on me. It has been so much different from before.
I have to trust God that He will be with me wherever i go. Either i keep the faith or i lose everything.
God has not promised life to be like a bed of roses, but He promised strength when we are weak, courage when we are fearful, encouragement when we are disappointed, comfort when we are down, wisdom when we are lost, and love whenever we need it.
Amen.
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